May 23, 2003
You know what's really irritating? When people
suddenly come out of the woodwork to get something from you. I have
absolutely no problem doing a favor or anything of the sort for a
friend, family member, or someone I know pretty well. At least I know
they like me for me and I'm not just being considered as a "friend with
benefits." But to just pop out of nowhere just because you want
something from me? Not cool. And then you add all this fluff to
hide your real motive. I haven't decided yet if I'd prefer bluntness and
getting straight to the point, or having to pretend that you're really
this nice person and you've suddenly thought of this favor due to the
fact that you happened to be talking with me. You can't just forget
about the past. Things aren't the same, but maybe I should have known
this from the beginning. I don't appreciate being used.
You know, maybe it's partially my fault too.
Maybe I give people the benefit of the doubt too easily, and not wanting
to seem like this bad/mean person, I do my best to fulfill their
request within reason. I don't get mad that often, but when I do, I
don't appear to be annoyed, but inside I'm silently seething. Out of all
emotions, I've never been good at expressing my anger or resentment; I
tend to keep it in or vent it through other methods (like putting on the
gloves and boxing). It's probably one of the things I should change
before I get stepped on again.
It took me awhile to realize all this, but now I see.
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