May 26, 2006
(by chumeister)
"I think it is a pretty widely accepted fact as to what one of the best parts of any relationship is: the honeymoon. And no, I'm not talking about the week you spend in the Bahamas after everyone has held their peace and the bride is kissed. I'm
talking about that initial phase in a relationship, when rationality is
thrown out the window, and all that matters is the person you're with. Those
first few weeks or months (or for the truly lucky ones, years) where
nothing can affect the halo of "newness" surrounding your relationship. Where
your infatuation is still so strong that your thoughts inevitably
wander towards your significant other, no matter what you might
actually be doing at the time ("Honey, I was at the waste processing plant today, and I thought of you.").
Ah, the honeymoon. It's a good time. But
just like the actual sandy beaches and umbrella drinks honeymoon that
follows the wedding, the new relationship honeymoon will have to come
to an end. It's inevitable. It's unavoidable. It's chemical. Eventually,
the chemicals that allowed you to ignore all the little imperfections
and idiosyncrasies of your new mate will begin to wear off. Until one day, when you're asking yourself, How come I never noticed that he doesn't take his shoes off when he comes into my room? or Why didn't I realize that she was a Communist sympathizer? And just like that, the honeymoon is over.
I think, like most people, I dread the end of this honeymoon period. After all, who doesn't want to constantly feel the exhilaration that accompanies a new relationship? The excitement of the discovery process. And the inevitable discovery of the traits that make your significant other just a few rungs short of perfection in your eyes. Because when you're in your honeymoon phase, those imperfections don't matter. You ignore them because they are so insignificant relative to the happiness that you feel just being with that person. If ever there was a time to find out your companion's hidden flaws, it's during the honeymoon.
Yet much as I like the honeymoon period, what comes after it can be just as fun. In some ways, it's even better. Because when you're in the honeymoon, you never get to experience the highs and the lows. It's just high, high, high, all off the time. And that can get well, boring. It's the arguments, the frustrations, and the battles of wills that make a relationship real. Those are the things that help to shape a relationship. Everyone has a honeymoon period. And most honeymoons are fairly similar to what I described. But relationships are always different. Relationships let you truly see whether you can be with someone. Of course, honeymoon periods that seem perfect can sometimes devolve into relationships full of bickering and bitterness. But sometimes, relationships can evolve into something even better than the honeymoon period. They can turn into something real. Something that requires actual discussion and compromise to grow. Something with a limitless future, rather than an inevitable conclusion.
So yes, I'll
be sad when the honeymoon ends. But I'll also be excited for what
happens next. And yes, I'm sure the "relationship" phase will have
its share of arguments and tears. But that's okay with me. After all,
you can't...make-up...unless you fight a little bit first."
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