May 23, 2003
You know what's really irritating? When people
suddenly come out of the woodwork to get something from you. I have
absolutely no problem doing a favor or anything of the sort for a
friend, family member, or someone I know pretty well. At least I know
they like me for me and I'm not just being considered as a "friend with
benefits." But to just pop out of nowhere just because you want
something from me? Not cool. And then you add all this fluff to
hide your real motive. I haven't decided yet if I'd prefer bluntness and
getting straight to the point, or having to pretend that you're really
this nice person and you've suddenly thought of this favor due to the
fact that you happened to be talking with me. You can't just forget
about the past. Things aren't the same, but maybe I should have known
this from the beginning. I don't appreciate being used.
You know, maybe it's partially my fault too.
Maybe I give people the benefit of the doubt too easily, and not wanting
to seem like this bad/mean person, I do my best to fulfill their
request within reason. I don't get mad that often, but when I do, I
don't appear to be annoyed, but inside I'm silently seething. Out of all
emotions, I've never been good at expressing my anger or resentment; I
tend to keep it in or vent it through other methods (like putting on the
gloves and boxing). It's probably one of the things I should change
before I get stepped on again.
It took me awhile to realize all this, but now I see.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
A perfect person out there for everyone...
In my urgency to post my first archived entry, I didn't realize that November 2001 was really where my blogging began. So we're going to backtrack a bit...
This was a quote that I blogged about on November 30, 2001. Little did I know at that time, exactly four years later on November 30, 2005, I met that perfect person, my husband.
This was a quote that I blogged about on November 30, 2001. Little did I know at that time, exactly four years later on November 30, 2005, I met that perfect person, my husband.
"I believe there is a perfect person out there for everyone.
Someone who can totally understand, care and make you happy.
That someone might be already in my life.
Could be someone I know but not close to, someone I currently hate, someone I am close to, someone I've already liked, someone I have been with, or someone I have passed by.
Or he might not be anyone I know...maybe I still have to wait.
What if he was already there, and I missed my chance?
I don't know. I've been told that not too many people get to marry
the person that they truly love the most.
I think that's kind of sad, don't you?"
Someone who can totally understand, care and make you happy.
That someone might be already in my life.
Could be someone I know but not close to, someone I currently hate, someone I am close to, someone I've already liked, someone I have been with, or someone I have passed by.
Or he might not be anyone I know...maybe I still have to wait.
What if he was already there, and I missed my chance?
I don't know. I've been told that not too many people get to marry
the person that they truly love the most.
I think that's kind of sad, don't you?"
A.C.
End of Freshman Year
May 10, 2002
Time to Reminisce... The tub has been scrubbed and the dust bunnies have been exterminated. As I sit here in my dorm room which is now almost completely bare, I realize how much of a prison cell it looks like without my decor. Just kidding; it's not that bad. No but seriously, I can't believe this is my last night here, sleeping on my bed that is raised up oh-so-high. I had my last bubble tea tonight for the time being as well. There are so many things I can't believe, but mostly the fact that my freshman year of college is over. Where has the time gone? Before coming here, I had no idea that time could fly by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that it was that Sunday morning in August, as Dorothy and I moved into our room, with our families making several trips up and down the steps to get everything in. And now, we've just spent a couple hours packing it all up and cleaning.
I've learned so much this year, not just the academic stuff, but about myself and people in general. I don't think my personality has necessarily changed, but I've become more "aware" as Diana put it. I think she's right-the people, the places, the situations, the dangers, and other realities of life. I've pretty much become accustomed to this city life. There's just so much to see and do; it's a little overwhelming sometimes. I never thought I'd be a "city girl" in college, but now that a year has passed, I'm just about there. (I still have that place in my heart for the suburban style. Yay for Paramus.) I've realized that college isn't just about continuing your academic education or in my case, learning about business; it's about learning about yourself and getting a taste of the so called "real world" with people who have come from all over the place. The sheltered life I lived before coming here has turned into an independent one. After 9/11, I was skeptical about my future here. Who knows what else could happen with the sick people that unfortunately live in this world? My parents were worried, just as I was. Living in NYC definitely makes you a target. But you know, after a lot of thought, I realized how lucky I am to be here and how great this city this can be. I made a choice to come here, and I'm going to stick with it.
*Sigh. I'm going to miss this place, although I know the summer will go by just as fast as the year did. I'll miss Dorothy, who I'm so glad agreed to be my roommate (a great one at that) to share our freshman year together-*Thanks a bunch, you're always welcome to my place at Water next year*; my friends, who always know how to put a smile on my face and show me a good time; the crazy late nights, whether I'm out having fun, or up studying-I tell ya, it's hard without coffee; the buzz of city life, Saint's Alp, the karaoke place, the convenience of my dorm being right on campus, and all the other good stuff I love about here. Heck, I'll even miss my dorm room, which has become my "second home." And although she goes to school uptown, I feel the relationship I have with one of my best friends has definitely gotten stronger. Although we go to different schools, we are both living the "college life" in the city, and that bond makes sharing our daily lives with each other every day the more worthwhile. I've learned so much through her and her experiences, and I love and thank her for that.
There's still so much I've yet to see and do-places to go and people to meet, but I'm sure it will come in due time. And so tomorrow, rather later, since it's now technically Friday, back to suburbia.
And you know what? I'm a college sophomore.
Time to Reminisce... The tub has been scrubbed and the dust bunnies have been exterminated. As I sit here in my dorm room which is now almost completely bare, I realize how much of a prison cell it looks like without my decor. Just kidding; it's not that bad. No but seriously, I can't believe this is my last night here, sleeping on my bed that is raised up oh-so-high. I had my last bubble tea tonight for the time being as well. There are so many things I can't believe, but mostly the fact that my freshman year of college is over. Where has the time gone? Before coming here, I had no idea that time could fly by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that it was that Sunday morning in August, as Dorothy and I moved into our room, with our families making several trips up and down the steps to get everything in. And now, we've just spent a couple hours packing it all up and cleaning.
I've learned so much this year, not just the academic stuff, but about myself and people in general. I don't think my personality has necessarily changed, but I've become more "aware" as Diana put it. I think she's right-the people, the places, the situations, the dangers, and other realities of life. I've pretty much become accustomed to this city life. There's just so much to see and do; it's a little overwhelming sometimes. I never thought I'd be a "city girl" in college, but now that a year has passed, I'm just about there. (I still have that place in my heart for the suburban style. Yay for Paramus.) I've realized that college isn't just about continuing your academic education or in my case, learning about business; it's about learning about yourself and getting a taste of the so called "real world" with people who have come from all over the place. The sheltered life I lived before coming here has turned into an independent one. After 9/11, I was skeptical about my future here. Who knows what else could happen with the sick people that unfortunately live in this world? My parents were worried, just as I was. Living in NYC definitely makes you a target. But you know, after a lot of thought, I realized how lucky I am to be here and how great this city this can be. I made a choice to come here, and I'm going to stick with it.
*Sigh. I'm going to miss this place, although I know the summer will go by just as fast as the year did. I'll miss Dorothy, who I'm so glad agreed to be my roommate (a great one at that) to share our freshman year together-*Thanks a bunch, you're always welcome to my place at Water next year*; my friends, who always know how to put a smile on my face and show me a good time; the crazy late nights, whether I'm out having fun, or up studying-I tell ya, it's hard without coffee; the buzz of city life, Saint's Alp, the karaoke place, the convenience of my dorm being right on campus, and all the other good stuff I love about here. Heck, I'll even miss my dorm room, which has become my "second home." And although she goes to school uptown, I feel the relationship I have with one of my best friends has definitely gotten stronger. Although we go to different schools, we are both living the "college life" in the city, and that bond makes sharing our daily lives with each other every day the more worthwhile. I've learned so much through her and her experiences, and I love and thank her for that.
There's still so much I've yet to see and do-places to go and people to meet, but I'm sure it will come in due time. And so tomorrow, rather later, since it's now technically Friday, back to suburbia.
And you know what? I'm a college sophomore.
Archives & First Fave
Well, after hours and hours of googling and testing out methods, I'm going to give up on trying to import my old xanga entries to this blog. Dating back to August 2002, it's funny to see what I deemed necessary to write about - I would never write about some of those things now! So, I'm going to selectively post my favorite entries. (At least paying for a month of premium was useful - these files are way easier to go through then paging through my site.)
Friday, August 9, 2002
I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to sit down and play the piano as much as I'd like. Most of my July was spent on flute, specifically on pieces for the band and trying to decide which piece to use for my audition in the fall. (Still quite not sure yet.) Now that it's already August, I'm planning on getting to the piano more often because once school starts, I'll probably be able to get to the music building only once in a while. I was finally able to get back into it a few nights ago. It's weird sometimes because I could be doing one thing, and suddenly just get the urge to get up and go to the piano.
I need to remember to thank my parents for starting me up with lessons when I was about six or seven. Learning at a young age is the best time I think for a kid to get acquainted with an instrument and music in general. My mom told me the story about how my uncle had given me a little pink battery-operated keyboard which was supposed to just be a toy to play with. Then one day my mom suddenly heard me playing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" out of nowhere, and thus she was "inspired" to have me start taking lessons. (Although my parents aren't the typical "hardcore" Asian parents, I think that most Asian parents aspire for their kids to play either the piano or violin.) And so my parents enrolled me in the Yamaha School of Music, and I stayed with that for 2 years. I guess I could say I was excelling beyond the other kids in my class, and with my Yamaha teacher's suggestion, my parents got me a private teacher. Up until right before college, I found myself auditioning and playing in recitals. (Those always got me really nervous, where my hands would be freezing cold and I'd do my best to warm and loosen them up before I had to play.) If it wasn't for the piano, I probably wouldn't be as into music as I am. Plus, I might not have started the flute or joined the band in the 8th grade had I not had the previous musical background. It'd probably be too difficult to catch up with everyone else who had started in 4th grade. (Then again, I did have that one year of recorder in 3rd grade.) So hypothetically speaking, several memories from my life would be missing if it weren't for the piano: those times I've accompanied the choir, the band trips, the halftime shows, the rehearsals, concerts and parties afterward, the musical...The list goes on...
Nowadays though, I play because I want to.
Which piece I start off with is determined by what kind of mood I'm in.
I'm pretty much always in a good mood, so I usually begin with
Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique, which I'd have to say is one of my
absolute favorite pieces not only to play, but to listen to as well.
There's just something about the music that's so soothing and it just
has the ability to take me away, and sometimes even lift my spirits.
Playing allows me to escape from everything else going on in my life to a
place where it¡¦s just me and the music. If I¡¦m in a bad mood or
just feeling particularly quiet, there are pieces I can play to convey
that, without having to take it out on anyone. When there are no words I
can use, I turn to music. It¡¦s difficult to describe or completely
put into words what I feel as my fingers glide across the ivory keys.
Music is definitely an awesome form of self-expression. I'm pretty sure
I'm going to buy myself at least a baby grand for my house in the
future. (Planning on playing 'til I'm a little old lady; hehe.) Most of
the time Beethoven and Mozart can be heard in my house, but every so
often I can be heard rocking out on some contemporary music too. =) I
consider myself a fan of most genres of music, but good classical music
can have such a powerful effect. (Notice the music I have playing on my
page?) Sometimes you just need music without vocals so you can fill in
the words yourself.
Friday, August 9, 2002
I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to sit down and play the piano as much as I'd like. Most of my July was spent on flute, specifically on pieces for the band and trying to decide which piece to use for my audition in the fall. (Still quite not sure yet.) Now that it's already August, I'm planning on getting to the piano more often because once school starts, I'll probably be able to get to the music building only once in a while. I was finally able to get back into it a few nights ago. It's weird sometimes because I could be doing one thing, and suddenly just get the urge to get up and go to the piano.
I need to remember to thank my parents for starting me up with lessons when I was about six or seven. Learning at a young age is the best time I think for a kid to get acquainted with an instrument and music in general. My mom told me the story about how my uncle had given me a little pink battery-operated keyboard which was supposed to just be a toy to play with. Then one day my mom suddenly heard me playing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" out of nowhere, and thus she was "inspired" to have me start taking lessons. (Although my parents aren't the typical "hardcore" Asian parents, I think that most Asian parents aspire for their kids to play either the piano or violin.) And so my parents enrolled me in the Yamaha School of Music, and I stayed with that for 2 years. I guess I could say I was excelling beyond the other kids in my class, and with my Yamaha teacher's suggestion, my parents got me a private teacher. Up until right before college, I found myself auditioning and playing in recitals. (Those always got me really nervous, where my hands would be freezing cold and I'd do my best to warm and loosen them up before I had to play.) If it wasn't for the piano, I probably wouldn't be as into music as I am. Plus, I might not have started the flute or joined the band in the 8th grade had I not had the previous musical background. It'd probably be too difficult to catch up with everyone else who had started in 4th grade. (Then again, I did have that one year of recorder in 3rd grade.) So hypothetically speaking, several memories from my life would be missing if it weren't for the piano: those times I've accompanied the choir, the band trips, the halftime shows, the rehearsals, concerts and parties afterward, the musical...The list goes on...
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Bringing blogging back
I've taken a long hiatus from blogging (since 2010!) but I think it's about time to start it up again. I'm patiently waiting while my old entries are being archived. There's nothing like getting your thoughts down and being able to reminisce down the road.
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